Paul M. Caffrey (00:02.478)
Hey guys, I'm delighted to be joined by Tara Rule, the author of Stop Apologizing, Silence Your Inner Critic, Find Your Confidence and Stop Saying Sorry. Tara, how's it going? How are you?
Tara Rule (00:13.995)
Yes, I'm very good, thank you. Good to see you again.
Paul M. Caffrey (00:16.654)
Yeah, you too. And this is going to be rapid fire straight into sales prospecting and everything else. Get all the tips out there. So first question, what's your number one prospecting tip Tara?
Tara Rule (00:30.795)
So I think for me, it's about making friends. I remember years ago, people talking about networking. Networking is like, it's often a word people hate, but actually, just making friends. So I think if you approach things going, hey, I wanna make as many friends as possible, and making genuine friendship connections and going, who knows what will happen in the future? We met at a party like years ago, and you know, it's that friendships that spark, I think, focusing on that.
is really, really important.
Paul M. Caffrey (01:02.799)
Super key and what do friends do? Friends help each other out. So if you can help that person out and at some point it makes sense for you to work together. Well, that's that's cool too. What is your number one sales tip Tara?
Tara Rule (01:14.411)
Exactly.
Tara Rule (01:19.147)
So this one comes from an old boss of mine and she would say over and over and again, ABC, always be closing. And I think that's really true. It's going, actually tell people what you're offering, to help talk to people about what you have, because often the thing you're selling is to help people. So let's not be embarrassed about it and let's not be ashamed about it. Talk about it so people can go, I want that, I need that. And I think linked to that.
And we talked about this in the longer podcast is making sure that we don't attach a belief to it. So if someone says no, that's fine. It's just not now, not them, not right now. And that's okay. Rather than turning into a belief going, if I propose to somebody, if I offer something, if they say no, that now impacts my self worth. It's like, no, they're completely different things. So always be closing and kind of detach that personal, what does it mean about me if I get a no?
Paul M. Caffrey (02:16.27)
super advice, you want to separate yourself from the outcome is key. And ultimately, you want to help that person make a confident yes, no decision, whether your services are needed for them now, or maybe they're not. And again, you don't know what's going on with other people, with their businesses and everything else there. You might think that they're a great fit, but behind the scenes, there could be a merger about to happen. They just can't spend, but they also can't tell you. So you never know. So beating yourself up over things. Yeah, I look to improve. But on the other side, it's
Tara Rule (02:38.603)
Thanks.
Paul M. Caffrey (02:46.176)
that more important to keep going and be sure that you're following a process and you're doing things right. And you'll come out on the right side more often than not over the longer term, for sure. You had a great, well, you had a great, let me phrase that actually, I'm going to keep with that. You had a great corporate career. You were extremely successful in 02. You went to Adobe and were shot through the ranks. What advice would you give somebody who's looking to get promoted at the moment?
Tara Rule (02:56.427)
completely.
Tara Rule (03:12.587)
So I think the number one thing would be know what your strengths are, play to your strengths, and figure out how you can turn them into superpowers. So if you figure out what you're good at, and if you get known for that, and then if you go, hey, I don't just want this to be a strength, I want this to be a superpower, it means that you will shine. And...
Often people focus on their development areas and they go, I need to focus on I'm not very good at this I'm not and we spend time focusing on on those things and it's just not as impactful and I'd actually love to start sharing an allergy and Which is about thinking of yourself as a star So you're a star. I'm a star and stars have pointy bits and they have inner bits and we are all stars
And often, and if we think about it, the outer bits are our strengths and the inner bits are our development areas. And often what a lot of people do is they focus on their development areas. When you're at school, you're told about the two spellings you got wrong rather than eight you got right. You have a development conversation with your boss and they go, you really need to work on this. And effectively what they're doing is they're trying to turn us into circles because they want our development areas to go out. And it's like, who wants to be a circle?
But instead, if you focused on your strengths and thinking about how can you turn your strengths into a superpower, then those pointy bits will go further and further out. And imagine how bright you will shine if you are a twinkly star rather than being a circle. And I think if you show up like that shining, then promotions will come your way far more often.
Paul M. Caffrey (04:48.238)
And for people who want to learn a bit more about that, I noticed you did write about it in Stop Apologizing. So there is a whole section on that. And the advice of looking to be a star and get well known for something and doing it to the nth degree. I think, you know, you can you can really go far with that. So we have not had a tip like that in this out of the 30 or 40 so far. So thanks for sharing that, Tara. there you go. That's it. You like to shine.
Tara Rule (05:11.851)
I like to be a little bit different so good exactly
Paul M. Caffrey (05:17.742)
When it comes to books, what books do you recommend people check out to get better at selling?
Tara Rule (05:23.947)
Yeah, so I'm a big fan of the more you know yourself, the more you know what you're good at, the more you know your triggers, the more successful you will be. So there is a brilliant book, The Chimp Paradox. I think it's Professor Stephen Peters, I think is his surname. It's called The Chimp Paradox. I see his second book on the bookshelf behind you. But yeah, The Chimp Paradox, it's all about how your brain works. And you might go, how's that linked to sales?
Paul M. Caffrey (05:42.478)
Yep, yep, it's the penis.
Tara Rule (05:53.259)
But actually I think it is because the more you know yourself, the more you know when you're triggered, the more you know kind of when you have reactions to things, the more able you are to control them and actually show up even stronger. So I would say that is an absolute favourite of mine. But also my book. As I'm here as an author, I really should say, stop apologising. I believe kind of the book that I've written, not only is it about apologising, but it's also about finding your inner confidence.
because there are so many people that I know and I work with that lack that inner confidence. And actually if we're there telling ourselves I'm not good enough or I might get a no or I'm not perfect or all these things that we tell ourselves, we're never gonna show up as the best version of ourselves when we're selling or doing anything. So yeah, I would recommend my book as well so you can get to know yourself a little bit more.
Paul M. Caffrey (06:41.71)
Excellent, so check it out guys, it is available now. And one final question, when it comes to preparation, what does doing the work before the work look like in your world, Tara?
Tara Rule (06:53.963)
Hmm. So I think the key thing for preparation is telling yourself something that is both true and positive. So often if we feel nervous about something people say come on tell yourself something positive. So for example this podcast if I were telling myself going I'm really nervous what if I say something wrong what if I forget things what if I stumble over my words.
I'm not gonna show up as my best. So often people go, right, say something positive. But then if I went positive and went, I'm gonna be the best podcast guest that you've ever had. We're gonna have a million views on day one because I'm just gonna blow everyone out the wall. It's a case of going, yeah, that's positive, but our brains are clever to go, really, a million views on day one? Really, is that gonna happen? So instead, what I do, and I invite other people to do is to...
think of something that is both true and positive. So, I know what I'm talking about. I have prepared. I've written a book on the topic that we're talking about. You know, you want me to do a good job. This is gonna be fun. So actually telling myself something true and positive is gonna be so much more impactful than definitely telling myself something negative, but also better than telling myself just positive things as well. And I've applied this for years. So whether that is, you know,
podcast like this or whether it's going into a client conversation or whether it's doing a presentation or standing up on stage all of these times I'm telling myself something that is both true and positive.
Paul M. Caffrey (08:30.862)
Tara, thanks so much for coming on. How can people find out more about you, your business and your book?
Tara Rule (08:33.355)
Thank you so much.
Yes, so I've got a website which is tararulcoaching .com so you can come and find me there. My book is called Stop Apologizing and if you go on Amazon now, just type in Tararul and you will find it will pop up straight away. And then I'm on all the social media so you can find me on LinkedIn, Instagram, I'm at Tararulcoaching and on Facebook as well. So yeah, come find me and I would love to connect with you.
Paul M. Caffrey (09:00.558)
Tara, thanks so much for coming on. Look forward to the next time we speak.
Tara Rule (09:03.659)
Perfect, thank you so much.
